什麼時候可以擁有一顆不流血的心，一雙不留了的眼睛

感情給生活添加了很多很多快樂，但也少不了傷心

快樂總讓人輕易忘記，傷心卻如此深深地刻在心上

為甚麼傷心的時候踢球轉得特別慢

有一种友情叫做：你还记得吗

不管多久没有见面，多久没有联络，再次相见，都会有某名的熟悉

他变帅了，她瘦了许多，他说话大声了，她变得害羞了…

前三句的尴尬陌生真的很奇怪。

你近来好吗？

在做什么工？

有女朋友了吗？

糟了，那三句问题都用了，感觉还是很陌生，但又很熟悉，矛盾的刹那，该接下去谈还是掉头走？

你还记得吗以前我坐你后面时一直打扰你，上课时一直聊天，老师一直看过来

你还记得吗以前踢球可以踢四个小时都没问题，然后去小贩中心吃早餐

你还记得吗以前我要追的那个女生，一直不好意思拿电话号码

顿时话题多了起来，距离也近了许多。

尽管再久没联络，小时建立的友情，还是存在的。

是他教会了你一些事情，是你和他一起解答了那初三的数学题，是大家在没有利益影响下建立的那份友情，尽管再多陌生也是熟悉的。

他是你生活的过客，你是他电影的插曲，即使只是在人生的那一段路交叉，也给你留下了许多童年回忆。

月会圆，人会变，但是怎么变，小学同学还是念旧的。

不管大家选了什么路，时不时一句朋友你还好吗真的能帮他加油打气，毕竟我们想看见的都是全部朋友都成功，搞出一番事业！

可能你的回复不会多过三句
也许再见面是不可能的事
或许和你通电话比登天还难
但我还是喜欢这样的喜欢你

每个晚上都会看看你的部落格
有没有翻新
在烦些什么
什么让你不开心
或你又有什么新的念头

只能够通过这来了解你
只能够在面子书上看见近日的你
偶尔发些讯息
不期待即刻的答复

可能就是习惯了
用这种方式的喜欢你

the race that never ends

Probably it's because too many friends broke up recently that makes me wanna write this blog.

Relationship is a marathon, no, ultra-cross-country marathon is a better metaphor.

No matter how fast you can sprint, if you don't have the stamina to continue another 100km, you can only have a colorful short love period, which last probably a year and it starts to fade consequently ends.

Your first year is very romantic, very caring but it just won't last.

Now you have better stamina, you can run longer, but it's not straight flat 42.2km route. It has got hurdles, mud that you cannot avoid, trees that you will bump onto. And all these are arguments, distances, friends, works juggling, parents etc. Not only that you have to face them, you have to solve them, once you stop, you are disqualified, and it ends.

Then you overcome it, at the 60th km, you think that you are comfortable with the pace and the road, so much so that it becomes so boring, so not interesting. There's another 40km to go, to give up or to continue?

When you reach the final 90th click, you will be so tired, the 10km feel like endless. And you know that there's another harder ultra-cross-country marathon after this, that's when you get married.

If you can run fast, don't sign up for this.

If you can run far, don't sign up for this.

If you don't know the race, don't sign up for this.

And this is probably why I don't sign up.

9 things I wanna do with you

It's becoming a trend to make the checklist for things to do or how to feel or milestone to complete. And I thought listing these 9 things to do with you would be a good idea, if there's one day we are together. So here's the list

1. Let's go to Taylor's concert!

Want to let you know that I'm enchanted to meet you and loving you is RED. You fill in every single HIM of her songs as if I am the singer.

2. A trip to New Zealand

Lake Tekapo has one of the prettiest night scene in the world. Want to point out our horoscopes and how well they match! take a walk in the Church of the Good Shepherd and I believe it would be the church you like most :) 

3. Make you a Cappuccino 

Yes I'm learning to make coffee art. Want you to feel how much I love you from the coffee I made. A bit cheesy I know.  I am addicted to coffee just like how I'm addicted to you.

4. Go for a run!

Follow me, let's keep fit together. or I will follow your pace, we shall not rush, I treasure every second spent with you. Whether is Pologround or ECP, running with you would be so awesome!

5. Dive together

Yes! We should go diving together. You don't know how keen I am to show you the underwater world. Hold on to me when there's current, don't worry, you'll be safe.

6. See, that's Aurora!

Probably I won't be going to see Aurora without you. want  to enjoy the scene with you, witness how beautiful our Mother Nature is :)

7. Bring you around with Vespa

Always find that bringing the one I love on scooter, Vespa in particular is so romantic. Sit well, I'll go slow and steady. Tide your hair cuz the wind is going to make it messy 

8. Watch the sun set

It's the sunset photo I took in Bali. The couple thanked me so much for spotting this scene. How I wish we are the couple there and someone take this photo. I planted the seed, someday it will happen, I believe.

9. Have a lovely breakfast

And lastly, nothing can be happier than seeing you right after I open my eyes. Make me a breakfast, please? A simple one. 

Let's get indulged in this pretty world.

for myself

took off the clothes
walked into the cubical
opened the shower tab
sat down nakedly as the shower poured
ya, naked
with no mask on my face
thinking who i am
who did i try to pretend to be

a sudden feel of identity loss
was this me
what am i trying to achieve
deep down in my heart
the helpless feeling
no one
no one i can ask for help
no one i really shared my problem with
no friend
no family member

all i can hear is the beating pulse of myself

should i go back to take a break
no
the last trip back home disappointed me
so much
i thought it's a shelther
but it's not

i am supposed to be though
to be strong
to face no problem in life
so he thought

i am just a layman
i am a growing young adult
i need support
i need guidance
but the reality strikes me again and again
somehow to convey a message
whispering to me
you just have to do all these yourself

and i stood up
wiped away the water
with the deep sea blue towel
here i am
fighting again
against all odds
for myself

新学期，新（旧）宿舍

兜兜转转，又回到了原点
从这里出发，在外面闹了两年，大四又搬回来了
还真的很不习惯，虽说曾在这里住过一年，但没有家的感觉
如果不是在SHEARES住了一年，还真的不知道原来宿舍可以是另一个家

这里的人没那么友善
见面也没几是个认识的
走廊少了一些喧哗
室友也不聊天至昼夜
那熟悉的笑容也不见了

又是时候学习习惯这些不习惯
面对着四面墙，偶尔从窗口往外看
盼望不可能从来的过去