wat?

wat do i want?
wat should i do?
in NUS, different ppl chase for different dreams..
for those who dun have, they just follow others..

for me, i dunno which catagories am i belonged..
i wanted to enter NUS n just have a happy go lucky life..
i promised to myself before school start..
when i told this to ah boy, he said :"impossible,cuz you are Tai Hau"
my reaction was :"i will not chase after excellent result which makes me suffer!"
disagree wif him..
then he said, lets see..

when school just started, i was really relax..
then when i realize tht result i dropping, i was like WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!
i am seriously down now..
screwed up my programming!!
the Q is , is chasing good result my initial target?
or i down because i fail to do my best?
is my best=good result?
if i did my best, means i am chasing good result?
if i am chasing good result, means i violate my initial aim?

this chicken and egg cas seems to be happening to me..
so wat now?
i have no idea..