accident

"call me when you're free."
Thts the msg tht I will nvr want to receive in my life AGAIN!
Just arrived in Singapore and settled down in lecture hall for the Autodesk course and I received that msg.
Mum told me tht daddy involved in a car accident. Both legs are broken and fractured. Proclaimed cacat.
It just striked my heart, I wanted to cry so much. Putting my leg into dad's shoes, I can feel the depression and sadness.
He is an active guy, especially in sports. Whether he exercises for sports or he likes it, he just does not stop doing it.
He had just done a 160km cycling, looking forward for more PB and now, his legs are broken.

Straight away I rushed back to buy air ticket. All I wanted was to reach him as soon as possible.
I felt so helpless yet I cannot cry. Because once the tears dropped, it would never stop.
Called Kiat to go abck to support the family, and I need him around.
Thank him for sacrifying all the classes and went back.

I could not let my brain to be empty because once it is empty, I will think of all the worst circumstances and make myself more sad.
The moment I saw him laying on the bed, from his eyes, I could feel he as if he tells me how regret and hopeless he is.
Regret of seating in the stupid old Proton instead of other CRV or Hilux.
If he did not send me back to Singapore, accident would not happen,
If he did not board the plane, accident would not happen,
If he did not go for a business talk, he would not go back late and accident would not happen.
IF..
the possibilities are numerous.
how regret he is. how painful he feels.

It's so difficult for me to believe that the patient laying there, has both legs and arm in bandage is my dad.
I cannot accept the reality. How much I hope that it is just a dream. It just a whatever, just does not happen. Kept pinching myself to see whether I feel the pain. How much I hope that I do not feel it.
If everything can restart.

Spent 5 days in hospital. Taking care of him. It's so difficult for him to move, even a bit.
He felt so pain with all the wounds and fracture. Back ache because of laying too long.
His mind is still thinking about the business. About a lot of things that he cannot do because of the accident. And I couldn't help. What a stupid son I am. I can only pray that he will recover well and fast after the operation.

Loves and supports,
Son