took off the clothes
walked into the cubical
opened the shower tab
sat down nakedly as the shower poured
ya, naked
with no mask on my face
thinking who i am
who did i try to pretend to be
a sudden feel of identity loss
was this me
what am i trying to achieve
deep down in my heart
the helpless feeling
no one
no one i can ask for help
no one i really shared my problem with
no friend
no family member
all i can hear is the beating pulse of myself
should i go back to take a break
no
the last trip back home disappointed me
so much
i thought it's a shelther
but it's not
i am supposed to be though
to be strong
to face no problem in life
so he thought
i am just a layman
i am a growing young adult
i need support
i need guidance
but the reality strikes me again and again
somehow to convey a message
whispering to me
you just have to do all these yourself
and i stood up
wiped away the water
with the deep sea blue towel
here i am
fighting again
against all odds
for myself
